I tried an experiment in mindfulness again over the last few days. After a particularly miserable day where I lost my temper too often and didn't enjoy my day with the kids and argued with my husband, I woke up early the next morning. For once, no one else was up yet. As I lay in my dark room, listening to birds chirping outside and the muffled sounds of ocean waves playing on our children's noise machine, my mind wandered. First it was full of thoughts about things needing to be done, but within a few moments the memory of creating my day popped into my head.
For those of you not familiar with this idea, I wrote about it previously in a post called Mindfulness Vs. Losing My Mind, and mentioned this clip of Dr. Joe Dispenza from the 2004 movie "What The (bleep) Do We Know?":
(If this video isn't visible, please click here). In this clip, Dr. Dispenza describes the way he sets about creating his day and the pact he makes each morning:
"I am taking this time to create my day. And I am infecting the quantum field. Now, if in fact the observer is watching me the whole time that I am doing this, and there is a spiritual aspect to myself, then show me a sign today that you paid attention to any one of these things that I created. And bring them in a way that I won't expect, so I am as surprised at my ability to be able to experience these things. And make it so that I have no doubt that it's come from You."
The kids woke up and our day started much the same as usual. Somewhere between our children doing their chores and my making their breakfast, I decided to check my email quickly. As I scrolled through the 20 or 30 emails I had gotten since I went to bed the night before, I speedily deleted many of the ones I knew I didn't need to read. Often, these days those include daily digest compilations from Peachhead which is, for those not in Los Angeles, an online parents' chat board with 12,000 or so members. Once upon a time, I used to read every message posted, but these days I just delete the daily digest because I simply don't have time for it anymore. For some reason, without thinking, that morning I opened one up and my eyes fell on a message that was titled "U.S. Post Office - MUST READ". And so I did. It was a story I had actually read a few years ago about a girl who sent a letter to God after her beloved dog had died and received a letter back. Included in that letter from God was this quote:
"What a wonderful mother you have. I picked her especially for you. I send my blessing every day and remember that I love you very much. By the way, I'm easy to find, I am wherever there is love. Love, God".I stopped in my tracks. What had compelled me to read that Peachhead email today of all days? And of the 25 emails contained in that digest why did I choose to read one about the Post Office? But here, in that innocuously titled email was a message that for me, was clear. You asked for a sign, here I am.
|How can I be impatient when she smiles like that?|
|My boys love me, unconditionally|
As Dr. Dispenza says:
"When I create my day and out of nowhere little things happen that are so unexplainable, I know that they are the process, or the result, of my creation. And the more I do that, the more I build a neuro-net in my brain that I accept that that's possible. [That] gives me the power and the incentive to do it [again]the next day."Now, I don't know if there really is an "observer" (although I like to think so), or if these messages came to my attention simply because I was focused on being more mindful. I don't know if simply being mindful is what allowed me to have the type of days I said I was going to have, or if I had truly created my day. Whatever the case is, the simple act of taking under 2 minutes at the start of my day to focus on what type of day I planned to have and to ask for "proof", if you will, that this would work, remarkably changed the days I had.
What would happen if I could do this every day? I believe that this simple act would radically improve the amount of joy I would feel in parenting (or frankly, in life). I wonder if I could actually commit to doing it. I'd like to try. Anyone else want to try it with me?
Thanks for reading!
The Twin Coach
Leave a comment below and let me know what you think. After that, come join the conversations over at Facebook and Twitter!
"Like" The Twin Coach on Facebook!