|Family portrait...well, me and the kids at least.|
"We are five mothers who are all very different, with one thing (well, technically two things) in common: We are mothers of twins.
We have come together to share our personal and unique stories about twin parenthood. Each of our stories is very different. Some of us could have breast-fed forever (Lauren), while others struggled desperately for a few short weeks (Carrie). Some of us went back to our careers straight away (Ashley), while others stayed at home for a little while (Maritza). Some of us hired a nanny (Carrie), while others hosted an au pair (Mari).
We acknowledge and embrace our differences, but we also find commonality and support in the fact that we are each one-of-a-kind twin moms doing the best we can every day."I have always found my local multiples club to be one of the best sources of advice and support - especially when my kids were really young. The parents there, for the most part, only have the fact that we're all parenting multiples in common. Yet there is an instant bond and sense of shared experience that makes them somehow feel like trusted friends. The Twin Source is a lot like that.
So, when one of the founders, Carrie Carroll, asked to interview me, how could I say no?
Hello, Gina! Thank you so very much for taking some time out to talk with The Twin Source. It is a pleasure to have you. On your blog, The Twin Coach, you consistently provide a perspective on parenting that is both honest and informative.
Thank you so much, Carrie. I'm a big fan of The Twin Source and am very glad to have a chance to connect with your readership. And thank you for the compliment on my parenting perspective. My goal in being honest about my own parenting struggles is to help my readers know that they aren't alone and that they don't have to be perfect in order to be a good parent!
We can't wait to hear your thoughts on some of the biggest conundrums that twin parents face. But first, tell us about your role as The Twin Coach and your own parenting philosophy.
When my children were born six years ago, I really didn't have a parenting philosophy at all except that I knew I would love and take care of them. But I have always been an information junkie and a researcher. So I tackled parenting like anything else I am interested in: I researched! Doing this introduced me to the most amazing parenting advocates and helped me begin to be more mindful about my parenting. Editor's Note: Check out this list of parenting resources compiled by Gina for The Twin Source!
Over time, my philosophy about parenting has been greatly shaped by what I learned about attachment theory, Magda Gerber's RIE (Resources for Infant Educarers), and ultimately the concept of connecting with children through respect and empathy. Additionally, I've spent years working on my own triggers so that I can really be present for my children as a better version of myself. It's definitely not the easiest thing to look critically at yourself, but it's invaluable when it comes to parenting.
Before my twins were born, and before I became a parenting coach, I had a small wellness center in Los Angeles. My experience as a holistic healer, using energy work and talk therapy with my clients, gave me a great foundation for working with parents. Although I started out focusing on parents of multiples, I quickly realized that having support in learning how to parent respectfully is something that every parent needs. So, although I especially love working with parents of twins, my blog and my parent education sessions are for anyone who wants to be a happier, more mindful, and more connected parent.
As you know, parenting twins comes with a unique set of challenges. Let's first talk about achieving a healthy parenting dynamic. When two babies arrive at once, there is obviously extra strain placed on new parents. How can they prepare for this, and what should they remember as they tackle the twin experience?
Before the children are born, it's important to sit down together and discuss things like how you are planning to share responsibilities. It doesn't need to be 50/50, but resentment is going to build quickly if you don't have a plan. Additionally, discussing any preconceived notions you might have about twins ahead of time can be really helpful. Sometimes a parent has negative associations with twins they once knew or has fantasy ideas about how twins will be telepathic and should always be together. It's better to talk about these so you can try to be on the same page and clear the air prior to the birth.
Once the babies are here, be sure to make time for each other. Two babies can be so overwhelming, and it is very easy to forget that the reason those babies are even here is your love for each other. Make time to keep that love strong! Remember that putting an emphasis on your marriage or partnership doesn't make you bad parents. Your relationship is your children's first model of what a loving partnership looks like. It creates the foundation from which they will go out into the world to seek their own partners. You want to model a healthy, respectful, loving relationship. If you occasionally need help from a therapist or counselor of some sort, get it! Invest in your partnership as much as you invest in your parenting.
To read the full interview please click here.
Carrie very nicely also asked me to write a short list of some of my personal favorite parenting resources which you can find here. I was doing my best to keep things brief and to the point, so it's only a partial list!
I hope you enjoy reading the interview!
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