What’s Your Parenting Style?

A fundamental skill for powerful parenting is your ability to set clear, direct and specific limits. Limits should be easy for your child to follow. But it’s hard to always know what your non-negotiable limits for behavior should be, so wouldn’t you think that parenting with your spouse would make it easier? Not so, according to many of the parents I work with in consultation. While most parents agree that parenting together is important, many say that blending two parenting styles makes setting limits even harder.

The Styles

Let’s divide the parenting styles into three types:

  • Reactive
  • Wavering
  • Proactive

Reactive Style of Parenting

If you have the reactive style of parenting you may feel that you are spending most of your parenting time in conflict with your child. Although you may have clear limits, you tend to react to your child’s misbehavior in angry or frustrated ways. Emotions may run high in your family with no one quite sure how to stop the constant conflict. Peaceful times seem few and far between. Often, behavioral skill building doesn’t take place, but testing of boundaries and limits does.

This style of parenting encourages your child to either avoid or provoke your reactions and teaches your child how to negotiate limits.

Wavering Style of Parenting

If you have the wavering style of parenting, you may have limits but be inconsistent about following through. Do you do a lot of talking and not a lot of acting when it comes to discipline? My guess is that your child may be pushing the limits because of your inconsistency. She may even be taking advantage of your inability to anticipate behavioral troublespots.

If you waver in your limit setting and follow through, your child learns that sometimes you mean what you say but often you don’t. This style of parenting encourages testing of limits because you child must test to know just what you expect of her.

Proactive Style of Parenting

If you have the proactive style of parenting, you have firm, unmistakable limits that are clearly conveyed to your child. This style of parenting fosters age-appropriate, independent decision making by your child.

When misbehavior occurs, words are followed by appropriate action. Your parenting is like having a backyard surrounded by a sturdy fence. Your child can choose to run or swing or slide but the boundaries of his yard are clear. You are teaching your child the skills he needs to become capable, responsible, and to be motivated from within. His ability to accept limits and act in acceptable ways will help him handle life’s ups and downs.

Parenting Strategies

The styles you and your partner have will either facilitate working together or not. Are you both reactive? Is one person reactive while the other parent wavers? Here are some strategies for blending styles that will make it easier for you to be proactive as you parent together:

  • Identify your styles. Talk about this when neither of you is upset about a parenting dilemma.
  • Think about what steps you can take to adopt a more proactive style.
  • Make the time to discuss what each of you will do to blend the best of your styles. Your goal is to present to your child more unity around limit setting.
  • Review what your limits really are. It will be impossible to convey them to your child if you are unclear about what rules are non-negotiable.
  • Decide, in advance and away from your child, how you will handle discipline issues that you don’t agree on. Don’t let your child know that he has the power to start arguments between you.
  • Offer support. Create a signal between you and your partner that conveys you need help when you are in conflict with your child.
  • Take a break. If one parent is in conflict with the child and the other disagrees with what is happening, take time out to discuss the plan. Tell your child you will get back to her when the two of you have decided how to handle the problem.

Respecting each other as you present a united front is the key to parenting together. Take the time to reflect on what brought you together in the first place. Especially when times are tough, remember that the respect you show each other is the respect your child is learning to have for you.

Most Common Security Practices At Home You Should Know

Did you know that in 2015, there were an estimated 1,579,527 burglaries in US alone which constituted an increase of 2% from the previous year? Most of us feel comfortable that nothing is going to happen in our house till the time an incident happens. It only has to happen once to make us devastated and mentally disturbed for a very long time. So to make sure you and your family are secure from any thefts or accidents within your house you should have a proactive approach towards implementing and teaching your family about most common security practices at home that can be easily and effectively implemented and used.

The most common security practices at home are sometimes the safest bet to protect you and your family from unwanted visitors. For sure, you don’t want any of your family members be in danger just because you do not implement such practices.

Ensure that you have an alarm installed.

This sometimes may not be efficient enough for a seasoned robber but you can at least have the mental peace that the help will come quickly. Having an alarm warning displayed on the house can also be a good deterrent for many thieves.

Light it up.

Make sure your porch, garden, front and back entrance are well lit. If you are not at home, make sure to leave certain lights on to give it a feel that somebody is still there. To conserve electricity use a timer to periodically switch certain lights, television, radio sets within the house or use motion detectors outside to switch on the light when there is some movement.

Sturdy as it goes!

Believe it or not, even with state-of-the-art and sophisticated security systems, expensive lightning and even complicated locks, your best line of defense against an unwanted intruder is a good sturdy bolt lock and door, which the intruder cannot forcefully pry open or kick in! Just make sure you have the keys separately given to your family members in order not to get lock out by your own home and go through the hassle of calling up key smiths (although they can be available 24/7).

Check all entrance points.

This includes all open points in your home; from kitchen door to windows, from patio doors to garages to even easily accessible tree house near bedroom windows. Confirm that all access points are secured, locked properly and so that it will be unaccessible to intruders.

Be creative.

Remember the movie Home Alone? Although we don’t recommend setting holed wooden floors or smashed bulbs in the window or tumbling toolkits. If there is a part in your house that is made of wood (especially a door or a window in your garage), beef it up by putting a secondary lock using sturdy wood planks. Get one of the best orbital sanders on the market, paint and polish it up, so it will still look like a decorative door or window. No need to heat up a door knob or place a staple gun.

Teach the children.

Teach your kids to differentiate between welcomed guests and unwanted visitors. Make the eye hole easily accessible to them at their level. They should learn not to give too much information over the phone call and never to talk to strangers.

Keep emergency numbers accessible.

Have all the emergency numbers and references easily accessible and within your reach.

Aside from keeping your home safe from any accidents, the above points are also great security practices that you can implement in your house to protect your family from an undesirable consequences.

Preventing and Reversing Hair Loss – Easy Peasy For Me!

Hair loss is a condition that affects millions of men around the world. It can have devastating effects on physical attractiveness and, consequently, on self-esteem. Most men will look in the mirror one day and notice that they do not have as much hair as they used to; the great majority of these men will do nothing about it and continue losing hair for weeks, months, and maybe even years. DO NOT BE ONE OF THESE MEN!! Here I will discuss simple preventive measures that you can take in order to prevent and reverse your hair loss.

I first noticed that I started losing hair when I was 23. I looked in the mirror, stressed out, but ultimately did nothing about it. A year later, I realized that I had lost significantly more hair and only then decided to try everything available and find what worked for me. IF YOU HAVE BEGUN LOSING HAIR, TAKE ACTION NOW! I cannot emphasize this enough. Not only will you help prevent your hair loss on the physical level, but knowing that you are doing something about it will boost your self-esteem and eliminate a lot of the stress associated with hair loss (which can lead to even more hair loss).

When thinking about hair loss, Minoxidil (marketed under the name brand Rogaine) is often the first product that comes to mind. There are a few things you should know about Minoxidil before you begin to use it. Minoxidil works only while you use it; this means that your hair loss will resume when you stop using the product. Minoxidil can also be relatively expensive and difficult to incorporate into your routine if you are as lazy or forgetful as I am. I tried Minoxidil, discontinued use, and noticed a great deal of hair loss. Consequently, I decided to leave the product for good and seek other solutions to my hair loss problems. This is not to say that Minoxidil isn’t for you… it just wasn’t for ME.

It took me months of research to find a topical solution that I was satisfied with. This product is Ketoconazole shampoo, which is marketed under the name brand Nizoral. Ketoconazole is an antifungal drug and DHT inhibitor. For those of you who don’t know, these are the two principal causes of hair loss (other than genetic predisposition, of course). Ketoconazole has been shown to be effective against hair loss, but is not marketed as such. One study even concluded that Ketoconazole was as effective as Minoxidil in the treatment of hair loss1. Ketoconazole shampoo is available in 2% and 1% solutions. I have not used the 2% solution (it is harder to find), so I can only speak of my experience with the 1%. The advantages of using Ketoconazole shampoo are that it is considerably less expensive than Minoxidil and is sold as a shampoo, instead of a foam (which makes it easier to incorporate into your routine). Additionally, Ketoconazole should only be used every third day, and a little bit goes a long way. So, a small sized bottle should last you a VERY long time. I can also say, from experience, that discontinued use of Ketoconazole will not lead to increased hair loss. You’ve got a lot to gain and only about $12 to lose. So go to your local drug store and buy a bottle of Ketoconazole shampoo.

If Ketoconazole shampoo can only be used every third day, what will you use to wash your hair on the other days? After trying many different shampoos, the answer is Pyrithione Zinc 2 in 1 shampoo and conditioner (which is marketed under the name brand Head amp; Shoulders). I strongly recommend that you use the original; I have tried several varieties, including the one for “thicker looking hair”, and found that they are not as effective as the original. The original Pyriothine Zinc 2 in 1 rinses clean and leaves your hair hydrated (which helps counteract the effects of the Ketoconazole on the texture of your hair). It is also an antidandruff shampoo, which means it is an antifungal… and keeping fungus off your head is always a good thing. You can now establish your shampoo routine. This routine will consist of two days of Pyrithione Zinc 2 in 1 followed by one day of Ketoconazole shampoo

When using either of these shampoos it is important that you remember to not shampoo and rinse immediately, but give the products time to work instead. I would personally recommend leaving either product on your head for about 3 minutes before rinsing. After reading several blogs detailing people’s experiences with Ketoconazole, I would not recommend leaving it on your head any longer. If you experience any discomfort, irritation, or burning before the three minutes, rinse it immediately, of course. I would also recommend that you discontinue use of hair styling products as they can damage and dry your hair and clog hair follicles as well. Additionally, start patting your hair dry instead of drying it thoroughly or using the blowdryer. Preventing hair breakage is as important as preventing hair loss when it comes to appearance.

Now that the shampoo routine has been established, we turn our focus to diet. Start by drinking water. It’s that simple. Drinking more water will have dramatic effects on your hair, especially if you are a person who isn’t accustomed to drinking water throughout the day. I started drinking about 3 liters of water a day and noticed a change in my hair as well as my overall health. So you’ll urinate more… big deal, the benefits are incredible.

Another thing you should do is incorporate a multivitamin into your diet. Keep in mind that multivitamins are only fat soluble, which means that you should take them with either a meal or a glass of milk. A multivitamin should have everything you need to keep a healthy head of hair. Many people recommend using special vitamins for hair. But after having tried these myself, I found no real benefit other than faster hair growth (which only occurred after about two months of use). It is also important to note that many of the B-vitamins in hair pills are excreted in the form of urine when taken in excess. So, there is no real benefit to overloading.

A supplement I would recommend instead is Melatonin. Melatonin is a sleep aid, mood regulator, and powerful antioxidant. Studies have also proven this as an effective treatment for hair loss. I personally do not take Melatonin everyday (nor do I recommend this), but I use it on the occasional sleepless night or stressful day. Melatonin is also considerably less expensive than hair pills and available at any drug store.

There are also some other hair supplements but if both of my suggestions above doesn’t fit you, try checking out those pills that are researched by Andrea. She shares nice information there for all your hair loss problems, specially knowing and solving the root cause.

So there you have it. A few simple preventive steps that you can take to avoid hair loss. Try it for at least two months and then decide whether the regimen is right for you or not. Finally, do yourself a favor and don’t stare at the mirror all day. Focusing on your hair loss will only lead to stress. Instead, feel confident and proud that you are now doing something about it.

The intent of this article is to inform and educate individuals suffering from hair loss, as well as to share my personal experience and the regimen that helped me overcome hair loss. Please note that this article is NOT intended as medical advice. Please consult your physician before using any of the products mentioned within the article, and remember that one solution may not work for every individual.

A guest post from Gary Notman.