The Twin Source - An Interview With The Twin Coach

Family portrait...well, me and the kids at least.

There are very few twin-specific websites I actually like (which is part of the reason I initially started this blog). But one exception to that sentiment is the website The Twin Source:

"We are five mothers who are all very different, with one thing (well, technically two things) in common: We are mothers of twins. 

We have come together to share our personal and unique stories about twin parenthood. Each of our stories is very different. Some of us could have breast-fed forever (Lauren), while others struggled desperately for a few short weeks (Carrie). Some of us went back to our careers straight away (Ashley), while others stayed at home for a little while (Maritza). Some of us hired a nanny (Carrie), while others hosted an au pair (Mari).

We acknowledge and embrace our differences, but we also find commonality and support in the fact that we are each one-of-a-kind twin moms doing the best we can every day."

I have always found my local multiples club to be one of the best sources of advice and support - especially when my kids were really young. The parents there, for the most part, only have the fact that we're all parenting multiples in common. Yet there is an instant bond and sense of shared experience that makes them somehow feel like trusted friends. The Twin Source is a lot like that.

So, when one of the founders, Carrie Carroll, asked to interview me, how could I say no? 

5 Ways Sportscasting Helps When Parenting Gets Tough

This is not a state we want to get to when
we're with our children.

One of the hardest aspects of parenting for me is remaining in a calm and patient frame of mind so that I can model that way of behavior for my children. I know that being mindful in my parenting is key, as is learning how to take a mommy time out. But a third component is helping our children understand that parents have emotions, parents aren't perfect and that everything is going to be alright even if mom or dad is upset.

Beware of him that is slow to anger; for when it is long coming, it is the stronger when it comes, and the longer kept. 

Abused patience turns to fury.

~ Francis Quarles

My father is, perhaps, one of the most patient men I have ever met. And he's also one of the most sensitive. When I was younger he would experience things I did as hurtful or insulting, but would keep it to himself. Then, after a seemingly insignificant last straw would occur, he would explode. As a child, there was nothing quite so confusing as this. I was unable to connect his anger to a cause that made sense and the intensity of his anger seemed so disproportionate to the offense. 

Self-Image: Teaching Our Children To Question The Stereotypes

Is it possible to steer your child clear of self-image
issues when you are still working through your own?

I believe I may remember every unkind word ever directed at me. Funny, isn't it, how easy it is to believe the mean or thoughtless things people say about you? 

I remember a well-intentioned great aunt telling me I could "stop traffic" if I would just lose some weight. I remember that moment so well that I can still picture the corner we were standing on, the feeling in my stomach, even the brown, Frye boots I was wearing. 

As a child, women all around me struggled with their own body image issues and no one ever talked about it except to talk about dieting. I grew up internalizing that how I looked was not okay. Now I look at my 6-year old daughter, whose body is like mine in many ways, and wonder how self-image will unfold for her. 

Society is different in many ways than it was when I was her age, but does that mean things for girls are easier these days? Or has raising a daughter who feels comfortable in her own skin gotten even harder than it was just a generation ago? And how can we teach our boys to treat girls with respect if all they are shown is that a girl's main value is her looks? And what about our boys? Can they show emotions, be sweet and sincere or do they risk being dropped from the inner circle of cool?

Our culture generally accepts a particular standard of beauty and a narrow definition of masculinity without question, and it is passed on from generation to generation. Media perpetuates it, and these stereotypes are subtly (or not so subtly) shown to our children in every way from the movies they watch to the magazines that lie on our coffee tables. 

How can we raise our boys and girls to feel connected to their inner worth when all around them they are told that it is what is on the outside that matters? How can we teach them to be sincere and be themselves when they are bombarded with  messages that being who they are isn't necessarily enough?